We met at a Christmas party in 1997: Doug stood by the stove and Derek was near the fridge. From that moment, we have been creating our lives together. We have built a home, battled cancer, grown Doug's small business, and most important, adopted our son.

We believe in marriage - so much so that in August 2000, we had a full-blown wedding at Doug's godmother's house in Santa Fe, despite the lack of any legal recognition. Taking vows in front of our families and friends established a community of support for our relationship. We feel more confident after taking those vows, and we feel greater responsibility, as well.

We have wanted a legal framework for our relationship for years, but legal protections became crucial after our son was born. Kepler entered our lives earlier this year through an open adoption placement, but it's already hard to remember Life Before Kep. Our job as parents is to provide him with an environment in which to flourish. The stability of Kep's life is tied to our relationship; in a legal and financial sense, it would be particularly affected in the event that something should happen to one of us.

We have taken all of the steps available to protect ourselves, but our family remains vulnerable. Doug's small business has enjoyed much growth, but should something happen to him, Derek would likely have to liquidate the business to pay a large tax bill that would not exist if our marriage were legally recognized. Not only would our family be affected, but more than 50 employees and their families would lose their incomes, and firms that do business with Doug's would also be harmed.

Marriage recognition is what's right for our family. It's what's right for all families.